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Take your wings outside you can't fly in here

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10/7/05 11:10 am - thanks.... for giving

The Nerve, as one zine writer put it, is the literary equivalent to a forced bowel movement. Perpetually sucking Epitaph's collective cocks they are. It's thanksgiving here and I plan on three days of maxing and relaxing. Organizing and cleaning up my life which starts with my home. I can't wait to swim. Read all day and find a new job because the one I have is totally weirding me out and I'm too dang smart for the position I have. I want to be a hair cop like jenny. She didn't go to school until she was 30. She's very inspiring like all the time.

10/5/05 02:20 pm - cheap shot

I have been totally insulted and kicked in the gut but a former friend who wrote a cheap shot in a local paper. I miss Cam too much to mention and am kinda mad at myself over being such a pussy. I have been independent for over three years and a dude comes along and I'm a suck. Gone for six weeks and it's only been 1... I'm afraid he'll forget about me while he's away and not to mention the metal sluts. He is so amazingly rad and I should of known better than to fall for a dude in a band. It will be worth it. All I can keep my mind on is California at the end of the month. I get too see many friends I haven't in ages and I still have to come up with a stellar costume. Elvira would be rad but she didn't wear glasses. I'll come up with something. I always do.

6/9/05 11:50 pm - fucking west coast

One of my roomates decided to move out today without notice. It's one of the strangest things that have happened in this house. He said he just decided to last night, to move in with a friend. Not a months notice but what can a girl do. Did I mention I found out he had moved out when I saw a post on myspace about his new phone number. So fucking bizarre. People on the west coast and they way they think are seem so strange to me. Avoid conflict. Avoid contact. Avoid honesty. People here have thought I'm a brutal psycho bitch because I stand up for myself. I will tell you what I think of you. I call people on their shit and I wouldn't be any other way. After talking with my east coast mom today she told me that it's just my generation who is so weird and flakey not just the west coast. I was spending time with an old friend at the tattoo convention here and I was telling how strange people are here. How you can be introduced to someone and see them on the street the following day and they won't even say hi or aknowledge you. In Montreal I'd forget someone's name and still give them a kiss when I ran into people I had been introduced to. How I miss cheek kisses hello.

I have a serious job interview tomorrow. Totally serious. This could be life changing. Of course my offer to personally assist Anthony Micheal Hall was the most important job I could of ever been offered and didn't get due to me not having my license... It's devestating. Farmer Ted. Nice manners babe.

6/3/05 08:08 pm - this was incedibly true.....

I'm kinda weirded out here..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

6/3/05 07:33 pm - You snooze you loose

I am still currently jobless. Broke as a motherfucker, slightly depressed but thats just today. Got tattooed for nine hours a few days ago and I'm still having trouble walking. Because I'm still sore all I want to do it lie down and listen to records. My room is so messy you can't walk anywhere without stepping on anything and I kinda don't care for myself but would be horrified to have someone else over. Big friday night plans will be digging out my old sad records and eating kraft dinner and await again another response from a potential job from yesterday. It's really quite unreal how much time I have on my hands and how little I've fucking done. I miss Yetti already. Maybe thats why I'm sad.

11/4/04 05:55 pm - what to call it

I've FINALLY decided to FIANLLY get my shit together and start selling my flower barettes that I always make for myself and give away to friends. I have all this time on my hands and I'm putting my foot down and seeing what shitty ones are being sold on ebay. My market research with my crafty beautiful lady friends and their choices in company names is so diverse. Not one is winning over the others. I'm stumped.

I'll figure this shit out by tomorrow.


10/20/04 12:32 pm - i quit

This is my notice. I can no longer handle the stress of working with you or your mother, dealing with three of my assistants who quit because of her insanity. 11 people have come and gone before me, there is obviously a problem with the way you run your business. Perhaps its your perverted son who pushed my last button but hiding the vaccum attactment making me vaccum the entire store on my hands and knees in a skirt while he stood and discustingly watched. I have never felt so degrated. I refuse to continue to send products to customers that are not up to standards, as well as double charging senders for second delivery attempts that first attempts were not made in the first place. Sending used food products, and second hand toys in gift baskets is FRAUD. I don't agree with the Ethics your company has. The aggreement was to run the shop due to Perv retireing and after months this still hasn't gone into effect. She is the most difficult person I have ever had to work with. Her treatment of staff is borderline verbally abusive. Which I experience on a daily basis. The woman has mental problems. Constantly changing her mind on policies, obsessively reorganizing the entire store, throwing away personal items...I like so many people who have worked with her before me can only handle so much. Here is my notice. I would rather not develop an ulcer, be brought to tears of frustration on a daily basis or not be able to sleep every night worrying of what is in store the following day, or if I will l be getting the silent treatment from Pervis. She is unstable and perhaps taking a look at the turnaround of staff including my three assistants in the past four moths would maybe give you a clue. Working for your company has been more difficult than anywhere else I have worked in my entire life. I wish you luck finding someone who will work as hard as I did for you and organized your shop as well I did. You will find my last hours in the green folder in the first bottom bin, please send me my record of employment. You can take this job and shove it.

10/12/04 10:35 pm - stand by me

i did good today, nice things for nice people. Feed the starving... they aren't homeless they live in my house. Lent my bike to someone who couldn't afford bus fare... who also lives in my house. Even though I walked for an hour home, it was nice. Stand by me is on the televison. I know every single fucking word, every single sound effect to that movie. I canada the cbc is also aired on the radio and I was punished for some reason and sent to my room one night so I taped onto cassette the entire movie. I also had the absolute worst time falling asleep when i was younger. I would lie in bed for hours before falling asleep. What I'd do on a nightly basis to pass the time was to listen to stand by me and occaision episodes of kids in the hall. I still know every word and of them all I am definitly Verno. No way around it. Vern....o

10/3/04 11:47 pm - poor and i'm weird baby..you've got no time for me

my knees are so bruised almost black. I've never seen them like that before. Of course I wore my bare legs and skirt today. Last night was crazy... The briefs are my favorites. No expected ememies of mine were in attendance. If they were I wouldn't of noticed. More friends than enemies. I lent someone money today. Its nice to be able to do that since being broke is the worst feeling ever for me. I've been there so many times. Its kept me awake at night. I'm always awake at night these days. I don't need sleep. Only burritos and tea.

9/25/04 06:03 pm - sorry old friend

Its been so long since I wrote anything in here. A very hectic and stressful past summer.. major house and home changes and ridding if the bad and one good and a whole new home of respectful interesting new roomates/friends and I couldn't be happier. Fate took its toll in keeping me off the road with lollapalooza all summer and it turned out to be the most memorable in years. Other than that. Over a broken heart from long ago and I spend my nights talking to one of the most handsome and raddest boys ever who lives in california. Who knows what will happen. I'm flattered that we yack.... Off to California to see an old best friend and sister in November. Somedays I wish it was sooner.
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